What is self-confidence?
Self
confidence is an attitude that is characterized by a positive belief that one
can take control of one's life and of one's plans. People
who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something
and then proceed to do these things. They do not rely on the approval of other
people in order to affirm their existence. It is enough that they know they
have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no
matter what others may say.
People
who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their
way.
Lack
of self confidence is not proportional to a person's abilities. In fact, there
are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to
show these abilities.
If
you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that
will help you gain confidence.
Identify
your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that. Make full use of your
strength and gather positive points. This will help you gain self confidence.
Do
not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong
along the way. Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes.
Acknowledge
your abilities and talent and take stock of them. Do not under estimate
yourself.
Try
to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful.
Try
to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a
better person.
Look
for things that make you feel good about yourself. It can be photos of past
achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you
wrote which was published in a book.
Concentrate
on things that you have achieved and take it from there. This will give you
more confidence to do other things in life.
Developing
self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself.
If
you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from
gaining confidence. Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will
make you feel insignificant. Being
a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost.
Better
yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and
make them your inspiration. In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and
hopefully, more confidence.
What
are the natural enemies of self confidence?
Fear:
The Natural Enemy of Self Confidence
Self-Confidence
is generally described as the ability of an individual to have faith and
believe in his/her abilities. According to psychiatrists when one has self-confidence
it normally results in having great self-esteem.
Self-esteem
is defined as the “worth” that one can place on himself. It is his measurement
of his own value as a person, in agreement to his behavior.
In
addition, it is referred to as the respect and adoration in which one holds
himself based on ones belief of what and who he is as a human being. This
greatly affects one’s feelings about himself, about his life, about his
relationships, and eventually determines his actions or how he accomplishes things.
The
progress and growth of self-confidence correctly starts with self examination.
The mind should be thoroughly inspected so that detrimental inclinations are
checked, weaknesses are eliminated, and a right pattern of thought and behavior
are established firmly.
According
to studies fear is man's enemy hindering self confidence.
These
studies stressed clearly that”fear thought” is an illness that can be detected
and identified. It largely arises from corrupt mental pattern, wherein the mind
is allowed consistently to dwell on doubtful thoughts, inefficiency and
failure. This power will become great, when freely allowed, affecting your life
to a less or greater degree in virtually every undertaking.
Ignorance
is the basic and prime cause of fear, that when one is not aware of his “true
nature”. A study showed that when one was convinced or has encountered his
indestructible infinite “soul-nature”, then one would never feel fear. However,
there are those who cannot or do not accept this, thus they feel separate,
vulnerable, susceptible and isolated.
Fear
of one’s self is demonstrated in several ways. You can experience shyness,
diffidence, bashfulness, timidity and a need of “self-confidence”.
Here
are some factors that contribute to one’s fear:
- When
we feel separated, fear increases. A fact is that one does not fear those he is
familiar with (people and surroundings). Fear arises when there is a certain
feeling of estrangement, which exhibits overall sense or impression of
suspicion.
- Attachment to individuals as well as material
things associated with one’s security cause one to fear that one might lose
them, so one will do everything in order to protect one’s relationships,
possessions or his self-image.
- Strange
surroundings and unfamiliar people bring about fear. Unfamiliar situations
threat one’s security and usually one reacts with extreme caution and at times,
defensive behavior.
- One’s
negative memory of past experiences where one had either suffered or witnessed
loss, harm or death aggravates fear. The subconscious retains memories of the
past and at certain circumstances, these are ignited.
- Imagination
at times can create or invent images of trouble, suffering or pain outside
physical truth or reality. Note that Imagination is never negative, however
when misused and abused, it can bring so much fear in oneself.
Combat
fear by developing self-confidence.
Here
are few guidelines:
- Emphasize
your strengths. Focus on what it is that you are capable of achieving and
praise yourself for your strength and your struggle than focusing on the
results. Beginning on a foundation of things that you are capable rather than
what should you be doing will help you live and work within your limitations.
- Talk
to yourself. Examine yourself and practice how to handle situations as well as
counter negative ones. Know when to stop when you catch yourself in a negative
assumption. For instance, when you find yourself demanding perfection, tell
yourself that everything can not result perfectly. This will allow you to
believe in yourself at the same time that you are striving to get better.
- Evaluate
yourself. Practice how to independently evaluate yourself. This will let you
avoid the persistent sense of confusion that results when you are relying
completely on the opinions and judgment of others.
- Take
those risks. When you face and accept experiences as instruments for learning
than possibilities to lose or win, new opportunities can be unlocked and this
can develop yourself awareness and acceptance.
Remember, self-confidence can be developed, not inherited; and fear can be overcome because you have the trust and the faith in yourself to do so.
