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A Wonderful Story of Friendship & Values

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND

AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

MORAL

Do not value the THINGS you have in your life..

But value WHO you have in your life!

What is self-confidence?

Self confidence is an attitude that is characterized by a positive belief that one can take control of one's life and of one's plans. People who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something and then proceed to do these things. They do not rely on the approval of other people in order to affirm their existence. It is enough that they know they have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no matter what others may say.

People who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their way.

Lack of self confidence is not proportional to a person's abilities. In fact, there are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to show these abilities.

If you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that will help you gain confidence.

Identify your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that. Make full use of your strength and gather positive points. This will help you gain self confidence.

Do not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong along the way. Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes.

Acknowledge your abilities and talent and take stock of them. Do not under estimate yourself.

Try to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful.

Try to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a better person.

Look for things that make you feel good about yourself. It can be photos of past achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you wrote which was published in a book.

Concentrate on things that you have achieved and take it from there. This will give you more confidence to do other things in life.

Developing self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself.

If you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from gaining confidence. Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will make you feel insignificant. Being a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost.

Better yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and make them your inspiration. In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and hopefully, more confidence.

What are the natural enemies of self confidence?

Fear: The Natural Enemy of Self Confidence

Self-Confidence is generally described as the ability of an individual to have faith and believe in his/her abilities. According to psychiatrists when one has self-confidence it normally results in having great self-esteem.

Self-esteem is defined as the “worth” that one can place on himself. It is his measurement of his own value as a person, in agreement to his behavior.

In addition, it is referred to as the respect and adoration in which one holds himself based on ones belief of what and who he is as a human being. This greatly affects one’s feelings about himself, about his life, about his relationships, and eventually determines his actions or how he accomplishes things.

The progress and growth of self-confidence correctly starts with self examination. The mind should be thoroughly inspected so that detrimental inclinations are checked, weaknesses are eliminated, and a right pattern of thought and behavior are established firmly.

According to studies fear is man's enemy hindering self confidence.

These studies stressed clearly that”fear thought” is an illness that can be detected and identified. It largely arises from corrupt mental pattern, wherein the mind is allowed consistently to dwell on doubtful thoughts, inefficiency and failure. This power will become great, when freely allowed, affecting your life to a less or greater degree in virtually every undertaking.

Ignorance is the basic and prime cause of fear, that when one is not aware of his “true nature”. A study showed that when one was convinced or has encountered his indestructible infinite “soul-nature”, then one would never feel fear. However, there are those who cannot or do not accept this, thus they feel separate, vulnerable, susceptible and isolated.

Fear of one’s self is demonstrated in several ways. You can experience shyness, diffidence, bashfulness, timidity and a need of “self-confidence”.

Here are some factors that contribute to one’s fear:

When we feel separated, fear increases. A fact is that one does not fear those he is familiar with (people and surroundings). Fear arises when there is a certain feeling of estrangement, which exhibits overall sense or impression of suspicion.
Attachment to individuals as well as material things associated with one’s security cause one to fear that one might lose them, so one will do everything in order to protect one’s relationships, possessions or his self-image.
Strange surroundings and unfamiliar people bring about fear. Unfamiliar situations threat one’s security and usually one reacts with extreme caution and at times, defensive behavior.
One’s negative memory of past experiences where one had either suffered or witnessed loss, harm or death aggravates fear. The subconscious retains memories of the past and at certain circumstances, these are ignited.
Imagination at times can create or invent images of trouble, suffering or pain outside physical truth or reality. Note that Imagination is never negative, however when misused and abused, it can bring so much fear in oneself.

Combat fear by developing self-confidence.

Here are few guidelines:

Emphasize your strengths. Focus on what it is that you are capable of achieving and praise yourself for your strength and your struggle than focusing on the results. Beginning on a foundation of things that you are capable rather than what should you be doing will help you live and work within your limitations.
Talk to yourself. Examine yourself and practice how to handle situations as well as counter negative ones. Know when to stop when you catch yourself in a negative assumption. For instance, when you find yourself demanding perfection, tell yourself that everything can not result perfectly. This will allow you to believe in yourself at the same time that you are striving to get better.
Evaluate yourself. Practice how to independently evaluate yourself. This will let you avoid the persistent sense of confusion that results when you are relying completely on the opinions and judgment of others.
Take those risks. When you face and accept experiences as instruments for learning than possibilities to lose or win, new opportunities can be unlocked and this can develop yourself awareness and acceptance.

Remember, self-confidence can be developed, not inherited; and fear can be overcome because you have the trust and the faith in yourself to do so.